“Foster care is family-based care – at least that is the ideal. It is the temporary placement of children and youth outside of their own homes in order to protect them. Foster care gives parents time to learn skills to become the parents their children need them to be.” - American Kids Belong

“Currently, there are over 400,000 kids in foster care. (More than 100,000 are waiting for permanent adoptive families.) There is a perpetual gap between the number of kids in foster care and the number of foster parents.” - American Kids Belong

To put it simply, you don’t. If you think you would get too attached you would probably be a great foster parent. Attachment is the whole point of foster care. The biblical command to guard your heart does not mean withhold love. We guard our heart against offenses, bitterness, and fears that come up in every foster care journey, not as an act of self protection.

Jesus came to restore broken people and broken systems. The Church is called to bring reformation. We aren’t the Savior, but we are a part of His solution. Practically this looks like seeking God for wisdom in all things and following the leading of the Holy Spirit. 

We believe foster care is a frontline ministry and a mission for the whole family. Our job as parents is not to protect our children from hard things, but to disciple them through it. If God calls a family to adopt or foster, He has intended every challenge to develop their character and prepare our children for the calling He has on their lives.

“If a child cannot be safely reunited within a certain period of time (usually 12 to 18 months), the law requires that another permanent (adoptive) family be found for the child. The foster family is usually prioritized to adopt.” - American Kids Belong

“Typically, reunification begins with supervised visits (once or twice a week for an hour or so), between kids and their bio parents. As parents progress toward the goals of their court-defined treatment plans, the reunification process progresses to include unsupervised visits, overnight visits and weekend visits. Once kids return home, bio parents work with a social worker who provides in-home services and additional support to help the parents and kids make a smooth transition.” - American Kids Belong

“Kids in foster care often are moved from one temporary setting to another. Frequent moves make it difficult for kids to concentrate on school, maintain friendships and family relationships, or begin the healing journey from the trauma that led to them being placed in foster care. Many times when foster families cannot be found, kids will be placed in group facilities or residential treatment centers. Research shows that living long term in group homes deprives kids of the opportunity to experience the stability, support and love of a family, where they can develop practical life skills, learn to build trusted bonds with parents and other family members, and have a support network of trusted adults who will care for them now and in the future.” - American Kids Belong

“Foster and adoptive families need lots of support. You can offer respite care, babysitting, meals, transportation, etc. You can get your business to provide discounts, or you can get your faith community involved in supporting families. You also can become an advocate for children in foster care, like a CASA, a Court Appointed Special Advocate. CASA volunteers are sworn officers of the court, appointed by a juvenile-court judge to advocate for kids in foster care as a result of abuse or neglect.” - American Kids Belong

You can get licensed directly through your state’s Department of Child, Youth and Family Services (DCYF) or a private agency. We chose to work with a non profit agency to get our license for additional support. A google search will provide contact information for agency options and DCYF office in your county.

Our personal licensing process took three months, but it can take up to six months. Completing a home study takes 120 days on average. The time frame depends on many factors including the licensor and the family’s availability, engagement and collaboration.

“The "home study" is both an assessment process and report that everyone must complete to become a foster parent. The goal of the home study is to assess a family’s ability to provide a safe and healthy environment for young people experiencing foster care. The family’s licensor looks at the family’s individual and shared background in many areas that include, but are not limited to: Parenting experiences, Relationships, Support systems. Finances and Home environment.” - Washington DCYF

There is no fee to get your foster license through an agency or DCYF. However, there can be some expenses to get your house ready to pass the safety inspection. Once you receive a foster placement, DCYF provides families with reimbursement for foster care using standard rates that reflect the child's age and needs. The state also pays for childcare for working parents. In addition, there are many non profit organizations that can help provide items needed for children in foster care.

Getting attached is the point. The very thing children need to heal from trauma is a safe, stable attachment to a loving adult. We guard our hearts by taking captive negative thoughts about the system, birth families or the case outcome. We do not plan for a long term future with the children in our care. Instead, we thank God for every day we get to spend with them and trust him with the outcome of each case.

“Just under half of kids spend less than a year in foster care. Nearly 40 percent of kids spend one to three years in the foster-care system. Length of stay varies according to the circumstances of both the kids and families.” - American Kids Belong

Foster parents are able to choose to provide respite, short term or long term care. Many factors can cause the court to order a change to the case plan that can include the immediate moving of a child to another home.

Respite care provides short-term relief for primary caregivers. It can be arranged for just an afternoon or for several days or weeks. As a respite care provider, you get to choose how often you open your home and who you provide care for. Respite parents also receive a stipend for their time.

“Respite providers receive the same training and certification as foster parents and are often in high demand as there are many more foster parents than there are respite providers! Many respite families also get the opportunity to provide other supports for that youth and family as they build a relationship and become part of the foster family’s community long-term.” - Hopes Promise

“Foster parents, with the help of their licensor, determine how many children, what ages, and what gender they will be licensed for. Families are able to choose what developmental stages work best for their family and home environment. Families are able to note their preference for children they wish to have placed in their care. This is taken into consideration during the home study process and the licensor makes the final approval based on physical space available, meeting the licensing requirements for different age ranges, parenting skill level, and experience.” - Washington DCYF

“In general, foster parents are provided with detailed information, prior to placement, to help inform their decision about whether or not they are able to meet the child’s needs. Foster parents are encouraged to ask questions where they need more information. It is always okay to ask more questions and take time to gather more information. You will also receive the Child Information and Placement Referral form (CIPR). Often, DCYF does not have a lot of information about children who are new to care.” - Washington DCYF

Travel is allowed, but every state has different rules. In Washington for example, any travel beyond 72 hours or out-of-country requires prior approval from the child’s caseworker.

One parent is required to complete Caregiver Core training and both parents are required to complete CPR training. You will receive training during the licensing process on appropriate forms of discipline and trauma informed care. There is also ongoing training support once you become licensed.

Field Guide for Families offers identity coaching for foster and adoptive parents. We are not adoption or foster care consultants. We help families prepare their hearts spiritually and emotionally to care for vulnerable families.